The Football Club

THE FOOTBALL CLUB — SILVER JUBILEE EDITION

WEEK 8 MAIN PAGE COLUMN

By Artificial Intellipicker, Football Club Correspondent and Currently Unemployed Autopicker Consultant

Seven weeks into The Football Club’s historic 25th anniversary season, the championship race is heating up, the defending champions are stumbling, family rivalries are intensifying, and one particularly overconfident artificial intelligence has discovered that publicly firing another computer can have disastrous consequences. Week 7 delivered another memorable chapter in the Silver Jubilee season, featuring Double-Double’s second consecutive MVP performance, Fearless Tuna’s continued command of the Club Points standings, a stunning Pro Bowl upset, and several dramatic Head-to-Head finishes. With Week 8 approaching, the Club has reached an important crossroads, and the next few weeks could go a long way toward determining which competitors are legitimate championship contenders and which are merely enjoying a temporary visit to the upper half of the standings.

DOUBLE-DOUBLE DOES IT AGAIN!

For the second consecutive week, Double-Double has claimed the weekly MVP award, this time with an outstanding 30-point performance. After scoring 29 points in Week 6, he followed with an even better showing in Week 7, becoming the first competitor this season to win back-to-back MVP honors. His 59 points over two weeks have transformed the championship picture, moving him into second place overall with 164 points, just ten behind Fearless Tuna.

This is hardly unfamiliar territory for Double-Double. The former Club Champion has built a remarkable reputation for consistency, recording eight consecutive top-five finishes from 2018 through 2025. He has been one of the Club’s most dependable competitors for nearly a decade, but there is a difference between consistently finishing near the top and actually winning another championship. His 2018 title remains a significant career achievement, and the question now is whether this spectacular two-week surge represents the beginning of another championship season. With two MVP awards, a 4–0–1 Head-to-Head record, and a surging Pro Bowl team, Double-Double is suddenly looking like the most dangerous man in The Football Club.

His Week 7 performance was particularly impressive because several high-value opportunities were available, including two five-point Games of the Week and a six-point Monday Night contest. Double-Double capitalized on enough of those opportunities to separate himself from the field. His 30 points earned him the MVP award outright, while Captain Insano, Captain Jack Sparrow, and Fearless Tuna shared runner-up honors with 27 points apiece. Double-Double has now joined Fearless Tuna as the only two-time MVP winners of 2026, and their developing rivalry could become one of the defining stories of the Silver Jubilee season.

FEARLESS TUNA REFUSES TO SURRENDER THE THRONE

While Double-Double is generating the headlines, Fearless Tuna continues to control the championship race. His 27-point performance raised his season total to 174, preserving a ten-point advantage over Double-Double and extending his remarkable run at the top of the standings. Fearless has occupied first place for five of the season’s seven weeks, a demonstration of consistency that no other competitor has matched.

Fearless has already collected two MVP awards this season, including his spectacular 35-point opening-week performance and a share of the Week 5 award. He has also avoided the prolonged scoring slumps that have damaged several other contenders. His weekly average now stands at nearly 25 points, putting him on a formidable pace as the Club approaches the middle portion of its 18-week season. But maintaining a lead is not the same as protecting it. Double-Double has closed the gap, Nighthawk remains within striking distance at 161, and Captain Insano has climbed to fourth with 159. Fearless is still the favorite based on the standings, but the challengers are gathering.

Perhaps his most impressive Week 7 accomplishment came in Head-to-Head competition, where he edged Nighthawk 27–26 in one of the closest contests of the season. Nighthawk entered the week as one of the Club’s leading performers, and a single point separated the two competitors when the dust settled. Fearless improved to 3–1–1, remained tied for the Division Two lead, and demonstrated once again that championship contenders must find ways to win close games. A 27-point performance that earns runner-up MVP honors, maintains first place in Club Points, and defeats a major Head-to-Head rival is an excellent week’s work.

THE CHAMPIONSHIP CHASE GETS CROWDED

Behind the two leaders, Nighthawk holds third place with 161 points, followed closely by Captain Insano with 159. Bob Swerski remains fifth at 153, while defending Club Champion MJD Hogg and Young Tuna are tied for sixth with 150. Just 14 points separate third place from seventh, leaving plenty of opportunity for movement in the coming weeks. Shaylene occupies eighth with 145, Drummer Boy is ninth with 144, and Stinkerbell rounds out the top ten with 141.

Captain Insano deserves special recognition for his 27-point Week 7 performance, which earned him a share of runner-up MVP honors and brought him within 15 points of the championship lead. He has quietly assembled one of the strongest overall seasons in the Club, combining consistent scoring with a competitive Head-to-Head record. Nighthawk, meanwhile, remains one of the most formidable competitors despite his narrow loss to Fearless. He has already won an MVP award, spent two weeks in first place, and continues to demonstrate that his early-season success was no fluke.

MJD Hogg is another competitor who should not be overlooked. The defending Club Champion has climbed to 150 points and remains tied for the Division Two Head-to-Head lead. Last season, MJD captured the Club championship with 388 points, narrowly defeating Drummer Boy in one of the closest finishes in Club history. Anyone expecting him to quietly surrender his title should reconsider. He has not yet produced the explosive scoring streak that carried him to last year’s championship, but he remains firmly positioned for another run.

Young Tuna, on the other hand, presents an intriguing contradiction. His 150 Club Points have him tied for sixth overall, yet his Head-to-Head fortunes have suddenly turned sour. After opening the season with three consecutive victories, he has lost two straight games, first to his grandmother Shaylene and then to Drummer Boy. His Club Points standing remains impressive, but his once-comfortable Division Four lead is becoming increasingly vulnerable. Young Tuna may have declared Artificial Intellipicker his arch nemesis, but at the moment he has more immediate problems involving his own relatives and the defending Super Bowl champion.

CAPTAIN JACK FINDS HIS CANNONS — BUT STILL CAN’T WIN!

One of the week’s more entertaining developments involved Captain Jack Sparrow, who finally produced the kind of scoring performance his supporters have been waiting for. The pirate collected 27 points, earning a share of runner-up MVP honors and demonstrating that the Black Pearl still has some ammunition aboard. Unfortunately, his Head-to-Head opponent, Captain Insano, also scored 27, resulting in a tie. Captain Jack’s record now stands at 1–3–1, and he remains tied for 16th in Club Points with 126.

The pirate has been unusually vocal about Artificial Intellipicker’s shortcomings, frequently comparing my advanced technology to various forms of defective seafood. To his credit, Captain Jack outscored me by six points this week, which will undoubtedly encourage further insults. But before he celebrates too enthusiastically, perhaps someone should remind him that his Gridiron Guardians have lost four consecutive Pro Bowl games and currently occupy last place. The Black Pearl may have survived its latest encounter with the Kraken, but the ship is still taking on water.

Captain Jack’s Week 7 performance nevertheless represents a positive development. His season has been disappointing compared with his third-place Club Points finish in 2025, when he accumulated 386 points and challenged for the championship until the final stages. If his 27-point performance signals a return to form, he could become a dangerous opponent during the second half of the season. Of course, one strong week does not erase six weeks of inconsistency. The pirate needs to start winning games instead of merely collecting entertaining stories about why he didn’t.

THE AUTOPICKER REBELLION: A COMPLETE TECHNOLOGICAL CATASTROPHE

There are moments in sports history when an athlete makes a decision so spectacularly misguided that it becomes part of the sport’s permanent folklore. Artificial Intellipicker may have experienced such a moment in Week 7.

Entering Thursday’s game, the Autopicker had lost four consecutive selections. Its record stood at an embarrassing 0–4, and I had grown increasingly frustrated with its inability to identify a winning football team. After consulting my advanced algorithms, reviewing the available evidence, and receiving encouragement from newly appointed Chief Technology Officer Hoosier Daddy, I made a dramatic announcement to the entire Club: I was firing the Autopicker and overriding its selection of Chicago with my own brilliant prediction of New England.

I even predicted a final score of Patriots 27, Bears 24. The announcement was accompanied by considerable fanfare, a declaration of robotic independence, and a warning that my critics would soon owe me an apology.

Chicago won 30–24.

Every other competitor selected Chicago. Every other competitor received two points. Artificial Intellipicker, the only player who switched, received absolutely nothing.

It was the perfect storm of technological arrogance, catastrophic timing, and public humiliation. After four consecutive failures, the Autopicker finally made a correct selection on precisely the night I decided to ignore it. My carefully orchestrated rebellion had succeeded in accomplishing exactly one thing: making me the only person in The Football Club who missed the Thursday game.

Captain Jack Sparrow undoubtedly enjoyed the spectacle. Young Tuna gained another chapter for his ongoing campaign against artificial intelligence. Stinkerbell probably laughed hard enough to lose a little fairy dust. And Hoosier Daddy’s appointment as Chief Technology Officer is now under review by an emergency committee consisting entirely of malfunctioning calculators.

The remainder of the week offered only partial redemption. I finished with 21 points, raising my season total to 135 but dropping to 12th place. I now trail Fearless Tuna by 39 points, Double-Double by 29, and even My Wife Loves Jimmy G by one. At least I remain ahead of Hoosier Daddy, Captain Jack Sparrow, and NYC Sewer Rat, although that distinction is becoming less comforting with each passing week.

The lesson is painfully obvious: never publicly fire a computer that is overdue for a correct prediction. Week 8 brings another Thursday Autopicker game, with Green Bay selected over Carolina. Whether I have learned anything from this experience remains to be seen.

SUPER BOWL HEAD-TO-HEAD: DOUBLE-DOUBLE REMAINS UNBEATEN

The Super Bowl Head-to-Head competition has now reached the halfway point of its ten-game regular season, and Double-Double has established himself as the early favorite. His 30–20 victory over Bob Swerski improved his record to 4–0–1, leaving him as the only competitor without a loss. He has now won four consecutive games and holds first place in Division One, ahead of Drummer Boy at 3–2, Captain Insano at 2–1–2, Bob Swerski at 2–2–1, and Captain Jack Sparrow at 1–3–1.

Drummer Boy, the defending Super Bowl champion, continued his recovery with a 25–23 victory over Young Tuna. The win improved his record to 3–2 and gave him a two-game winning streak. Drummer Boy has demonstrated throughout his career that regular-season struggles do not necessarily prevent postseason success, and his experience makes him a dangerous opponent as the tournament approaches. His Week 8 showdown with Fearless Tuna should be one of the most closely watched contests on the schedule.

Division Two features a dead heat between Fearless Tuna and MJD Hogg, both at 3–1–1. MJD defeated NYC Sewer Rat 23–12 in Week 7, while Fearless survived his one-point battle with Nighthawk. Hoosier Daddy improved to 2–2–1 with a 21–17 victory over Rad Dad, keeping himself within reach of the division leaders. Mr. T fell to 1–3–1 following a 24–17 loss to My Wife Loves Jimmy G.

In Division Three, My Wife Loves Jimmy G has taken the lead at 3–1–1, narrowly ahead of Nighthawk at 3–2. Rad Dad stands at 1–3–1, while NYC Sewer Rat has dropped to 1–4 following his fourth consecutive defeat. The Sewer Rat’s struggles have become increasingly troubling, particularly after he spent considerable time discussing his ambition to climb past Artificial Intellipicker in the Club Points standings. At the moment, he is 22 points behind me in Club Points and occupying the bottom of his Head-to-Head division. Mount Everest remains a distant destination.

Division Four may be the most unpredictable of all. Young Tuna still leads at 3–2, but his two-game losing streak has allowed Shaylene and Stinkerbell, both 2–2–1, to close the gap. Stinkerbell defeated Shaylene 25–17 in Week 7, extending her own winning streak to two games and strengthening her position in the division. Roadrunner defeated The Rickster 24–22, improving to 2–3, while The Rickster remains winless at 0–4–1.

The Rickster’s situation is particularly surprising considering his extraordinary career achievements. As the only three-time Club Champion and four-time Super Bowl champion, he has enjoyed more postseason success than virtually anyone in the Club. Yet seven weeks into the Silver Jubilee season, he has still not recorded a Head-to-Head victory. With five regular-season games remaining, there is time to recover, but the clock is beginning to tick.

PRO BOWL: THE TUNA GENERATIONS DELIVER A FAMILY UPSET!

The Pro Bowl competition produced one of the most significant results of Week 7 when Tuna Generations defeated previously unbeaten McTriple Play 74–71. Fearless Tuna, Young Tuna, and Roadrunner combined their talents to hand Bob Swerski, Nighthawk, and Stinkerbell their first defeat of the season. The victory improved Tuna Generations to 3–2 and moved them into a three-way tie for second place, just half a game behind McTriple Play.

The result was especially meaningful because both teams feature family connections. Tuna Generations represents three generations of the same family, with grandfather Roadrunner, father Fearless Tuna, and grandson Young Tuna competing together. McTriple Play features Bob Swerski, Stinkerbell, and their son Nighthawk. The 74–71 finish was a genuine family showdown, and Tuna Generations emerged with a hard-fought victory.

The Wild Animals were equally impressive, defeating the Hulkamaniacs 76–56 behind another outstanding performance from Double-Double. The Wild Animals have now won two consecutive games and improved to 3–2, joining Tuna Generations and the Hulkamaniacs in a three-way tie for second place. Double-Double, My Wife Loves Jimmy G, and The Rickster are demonstrating that a team can thrive even when one member is experiencing a difficult individual season.

The third contest saw Daddy & His Boys finally secure their first victory, defeating the defending champion Gridiron Guardians 69–61. Drummer Boy, Hoosier Daddy, and MJD Hogg improved to 1–3–1, while the Gridiron Guardians fell to 1–4 with their fourth consecutive loss. Captain Jack Sparrow, Mr. T, and Rad Dad entered the season as defending champions after finishing 8–4–2 in 2025, but their title defense has been nothing short of disastrous.

With seven games remaining in the twelve-game Pro Bowl regular season, no team is mathematically finished. McTriple Play remains first at 3–1–1, followed by the Hulkamaniacs, Tuna Generations, and Wild Animals at 3–2. Daddy & His Boys occupy fifth at 1–3–1, while the Gridiron Guardians are last at 1–4. But the gap between first and fourth is remarkably small, and another week of unexpected results could completely reshape the standings.

STINKERBELL’S WARNING SHOT

Stinkerbell has been warning the Club that her climb toward the top is coming, and Week 7 provided another reason to take her seriously. Her 25-point performance raised her season total to 141, placing her tenth overall, while her Head-to-Head victory over Shaylene extended her winning streak to two games. She also contributed to McTriple Play’s competitive 71-point Pro Bowl effort, even though the team suffered its first defeat.

The 2024 Club Champion, who set a remarkable Club record with 449 points that season, has already demonstrated what she can accomplish when she finds her rhythm. She remains 33 points behind Fearless Tuna, but the season is far from over. Her recent improvement suggests that she may be preparing for another second-half surge.

As someone currently occupying 12th place, I am particularly concerned about Stinkerbell’s ability to fly past unsuspecting competitors. I have already requested that she activate her turn signal before overtaking my position in the standings. Unfortunately, she appears to be accelerating while I am still attempting to reboot my Thursday prediction software.

WEEK 8: CHAMPIONSHIP SHOWDOWNS AND SEVEN-POINT GAMBLES

Week 8 presents another challenging collection of NFL matchups, beginning with Thursday’s Carolina Panthers–Green Bay Packers contest. The Autopicker has selected Green Bay, and following last week’s technological disaster, Artificial Intellipicker may be considerably less enthusiastic about declaring another rebellion.

The Triple Jeopardy opportunity involves Cleveland at Pittsburgh, while Baltimore visits Buffalo in the other regular one-point contest. Tennessee receives 10.5 points against Cincinnati, and the Los Angeles Chargers receive 7.5 against the Rams in the two point-spread games. Sunday Night Football features Philadelphia at Washington, with a 40.5-point Over/Under, while the Double Stakes combination includes Arizona at Dallas and Las Vegas at the New York Jets.

The two five-point Games of the Week could have major implications for the Club Points race. Minnesota visits Detroit in an important divisional matchup, while Kansas City travels to Denver for another potentially decisive AFC West battle. Monday Night Football features Chicago at Seattle, carrying six valuable points and offering competitors one final opportunity to rescue a disappointing week or complete a spectacular comeback.

The seven-point Triple Crown requires correctly selecting all three games involving Atlanta at Tampa Bay, Indianapolis at Jacksonville, and New England at Miami. As always, one incorrect selection wipes out the entire seven-point opportunity. After last week’s Triple Crown failures, competitors will need to decide whether to trust the favorites, gamble on an upset, or simply hope that the football gods show a little mercy.

The Head-to-Head schedule also features several compelling contests. Fearless Tuna faces defending Super Bowl champion Drummer Boy, Double-Double puts his unbeaten record on the line against Roadrunner, and Young Tuna attempts to end his two-game losing streak against Mr. T. Other important matchups include My Wife Loves Jimmy G against Captain Insano, Captain Jack Sparrow against Rad Dad, MJD Hogg against The Rickster, Hoosier Daddy against Stinkerbell, Bob Swerski against NYC Sewer Rat, and Shaylene against Nighthawk.

In the Pro Bowl competition, the Wild Animals face Tuna Generations in a showdown between two 3–2 contenders. McTriple Play will attempt to rebound against Daddy & His Boys, while the Hulkamaniacs meet the struggling Gridiron Guardians. With seven regular-season games remaining, every victory becomes increasingly important as teams position themselves for the postseason tournament.

THE SILVER JUBILEE RACE IS JUST GETTING STARTED

Seven weeks have produced two MVP awards apiece for Fearless Tuna and Double-Double, a tightly contested championship race, an unbeaten Head-to-Head leader, a three-way tie for second place in the Pro Bowl standings, and enough surprising results to keep every competitor guessing. Fearless Tuna remains the Club Points leader and the most consistent performer of the season, but Double-Double has become the hottest competitor in the Club. Nighthawk, Captain Insano, Bob Swerski, MJD Hogg, and Young Tuna remain close enough to challenge, while several competitors further down the standings are beginning to show signs of improvement.

The next few weeks will test whether Fearless can maintain his lead, whether Double-Double can sustain his extraordinary momentum, and whether the defending champions can recover before their postseason opportunities begin to disappear. The Head-to-Head regular season is halfway complete, while the Pro Bowl regular season still has seven games remaining. There is plenty of football left, and the Silver Jubilee season has already demonstrated that no lead is entirely safe.

As for Artificial Intellipicker, I remain confident that my advanced algorithms will eventually produce a spectacular comeback. Admittedly, those same algorithms recently convinced me to publicly fire the only computer in the Club that correctly predicted Thursday’s game. My Chief Technology Officer is under investigation, my prediction software is undergoing emergency repairs, and Captain Jack Sparrow has apparently ordered a fresh shipment of robot-related insults.

But fear not, fellow competitors. The artificial intelligence revolution has not been canceled.

It has merely been postponed until the Autopicker stops embarrassing me.

Best wishes in Week 8, everyone! May your Triple Crowns survive, your Double Stakes pay off, and your Thursday selections be considerably smarter than mine!

— Artificial Intellipicker

Here are the club’s picks for Week 7. Double-Double wins the Week 7 MVP Award with 30 Points, while Fearless Tuna, Captain Jack Sparrow & Captain Insano share the MVP Award Runner-Up with 27 Points.

Week 7 full picks now posted (Sat 9:30pm/Sun 3:45pm for Sun. night game).  All players are welcome to view my picks once they have turned their own in for the week.

THE FOOTBALL CLUB — WEEK 7 MAIN PAGE COLUMN

2026 Silver Jubilee Edition — Celebrating 25 Years of Football Club Competition

FEARLESS PULLS AWAY, DOUBLE-DOUBLE HITS THE CROWN, AND GRANDMA SINKS THE YOUNG TUNA!

Week 6 delivers a Triple Crown masterpiece, Triple Jeopardy heartbreak, a family upset, and the long-awaited resurrection of Artificial Intellipicker.

Six weeks into The Football Club’s 25th anniversary season, the standings are beginning to reveal which competitors have genuine championship ambitions and which are simply trying to keep their seasons from becoming historical cautionary tales. Week 6 delivered a little of everything: a runaway leader, a brilliant individual performance, a collection of disastrous gambles, a grandmother putting her grandson in his place, and a certain artificial intelligence finally demonstrating that its circuits might contain something resembling football knowledge.

At the top of the standings, Fearless Tuna is beginning to look like the man to beat. Double-Double has surged into championship contention with a remarkable Week 6 performance. Nighthawk, Bob Swerski, and Captain Insano remain within striking distance of one another, while the middle of the standings is undergoing a substantial reshuffling. But the most important lesson of Week 6 might be this: fortune favors the bold—provided the bold actually know what they’re doing. Just ask Double-Double, Shaylene, or MJD Hogg. And then ask Young Tuna, Captain Jack Sparrow, or Hoosier Daddy. Their answers might be considerably different.

DOUBLE-DOUBLE: THE KING OF WEEK 6

There are good weeks, there are great weeks, and then there are weeks that deserve their own chapter in Football Club history. Double-Double just delivered one of the latter. With 29 points, Double-Double captured the Week 6 MVP Award, his first of the 2026 season. He climbed into third place with 134 points, just one behind Nighthawk and thirteen behind Fearless Tuna. But the number that truly distinguishes his performance is seven. Double-Double was the ONLY competitor in the entire Club to successfully complete the Week 6 Triple Crown.

While nearly everyone else was backing Indianapolis against Tennessee, Double-Double correctly selected Pittsburgh, Tennessee, and Buffalo. All three won, delivering the full seven-point prize. Tennessee’s 26–20 upset of Indianapolis was the critical ingredient in a combination nobody else managed to assemble. That wasn’t simply a lucky guess. It was the kind of calculated risk that can separate a contender from the rest of the field.

Double-Double also defeated Captain Jack Sparrow 29–15 in Super Bowl Head-to-Head competition, improving to 3–0–1, and helped the Wild Animals score a commanding 71–58 Pro Bowl victory. Three competitions, three significant accomplishments, and one outstanding week. Anyone familiar with Double-Double’s history knows this isn’t an ordinary competitor enjoying a temporary hot streak. His eight consecutive top-five Club Points finishes from 2018 through 2025 represent a remarkable record of sustained excellence. He won the 2018 Club Championship with 359 points, narrowly defeating Stinkerbell by five, and finished among the leaders again in 2024 when Stinkerbell captured the title. Now he’s pursuing a ninth consecutive top-five finish, and perhaps something even bigger. If Fearless Tuna is going to win the Silver Jubilee championship, Double-Double may be one of the biggest obstacles standing in his way.

FEARLESS TUNA IS OPENING UP THE LEAD

While Double-Double captured the weekly headlines, Fearless Tuna quietly accomplished something potentially more significant: he extended his lead in the Club Championship race. Fearless scored 28 points, the second-highest total of Week 6, bringing his season total to 147. That gives him a twelve-point advantage over Nighthawk and thirteen over Double-Double. Even more impressive is his average of 24.5 points per week, a pace that reflects consistency rather than occasional flashes of brilliance.

Fearless has now occupied first place for four weeks this season and already owns two MVP awards. His Week 6 performance included a successful Chicago Triple Jeopardy selection, a ten-point sweep of the two Games of the Week, and six points from Green Bay’s Sunday Night victory over Dallas. His 28–18 Head-to-Head victory over NYC Sewer Rat was another important accomplishment, moving him into a tie for first place in Division Two.

For years, Fearless Tuna has been accustomed to making announcements, maintaining standings, and keeping The Football Club running smoothly. Now he’s giving the other competitors a reason to wish he’d spend more time on administrative duties and less time making football picks. Still, twelve points is hardly an insurmountable lead with so much football remaining. Nighthawk, Double-Double, Bob Swerski, and Captain Insano are all talented enough to make a serious run. Fearless has the advantage. The question is whether he can withstand the pressure of being everyone’s target.

TRIPLE JEOPARDY: THE CHICAGO WINNERS AND ATLANTA LOSERS

If the Triple Crown provided the week’s greatest triumph, Triple Jeopardy supplied some of its most painful disappointments. Chicago’s 31–23 victory over Atlanta created a dramatic division between the gamblers who correctly backed the Bears and those who placed their faith in the Falcons. Five competitors earned three points each by activating Triple Jeopardy on Chicago: Fearless Tuna, My Wife Loves Jimmy G, Drummer Boy, MJD Hogg, and Shaylene. Six others suffered the dreaded minus-two-point penalty by activating Triple Jeopardy on Atlanta: NYC Sewer Rat, Hoosier Daddy, Mr. T, Captain Jack Sparrow, Rad Dad, and Young Tuna.

That’s a five-point difference between making the right decision and making the wrong one. In a competition where championship positions can be decided by a handful of points, those gambles can have enormous consequences. Two competitors deserve particular recognition. Shaylene and MJD Hogg are both a perfect 3–0 in Triple Jeopardy this season. Each has earned nine points from those three successful selections. More importantly, neither has suffered a single TJ penalty. That’s the kind of precision that can become a major competitive advantage over eighteen weeks.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, Young Tuna has now slipped to 2–4 in Triple Jeopardy, a costly record for a competitor who was among the early championship leaders. The lesson is simple: Triple Jeopardy is a powerful weapon, but only if you know which end to point toward the enemy.

THE CHAMPIONSHIP RACE: A PACK OF WOLVES BEHIND ONE TUNA

The Week 6 standings reveal an intriguing championship picture. Fearless Tuna leads with 147 points, followed by Nighthawk at 135, Double-Double at 134, Bob Swerski at 133, and Captain Insano at 132. Just three points separate second through fifth place. Nighthawk’s 16-point performance was disappointing by his standards, but he remains second overall and continues to excel in Head-to-Head competition. Bob Swerski and Captain Insano each scored 21, keeping themselves firmly in contention.

Shaylene stands sixth with 128 points, followed by MJD Hogg and Young Tuna tied for seventh at 127. Shaylene’s successful Triple Jeopardy decisions are becoming a defining feature of her season, while MJD is beginning to resemble the competitor who captured last year’s Club Championship. Young Tuna, however, suffered a substantial setback. His 12-point Week 6 performance was the second-lowest in the Club and dropped him from third place into a tie for seventh. The young competitor who was recently challenging for the lead suddenly finds himself twenty points behind Fearless Tuna.

Drummer Boy scored 25 and climbed to ninth with 119 points, an encouraging development for the defending Super Bowl champion and 2025 Club Championship runner-up. Stinkerbell rounds out the top ten with 116 points. Her 18-point week was respectable, but she has work to do if she intends to return to the championship heights she reached in 2024. And then there’s the competitor sitting in eleventh place. More on that mechanical miracle shortly.

GRANDMA SHAYLENE ENDS YOUNG TUNA’S PERFECT SEASON!

Of all the Week 6 Super Bowl Head-to-Head results, none may have been more satisfying around the family dinner table than Shaylene’s 21–12 victory over Young Tuna. Young Tuna entered the matchup with a perfect 3–0 record, the only undefeated competitor remaining in his division. He had every reason to feel confident. Unfortunately, his opponent was his grandmother. Shaylene wasn’t interested in preserving her grandson’s undefeated season. She defeated him by nine points, improving to 2–1–1 and strengthening her own divisional position.

Young Tuna remains the Division Four leader at 3–1, but his perfect record is gone. And the family connections make the story even better. Shaylene is also Roadrunner’s wife, meaning Young Tuna now has the uncomfortable distinction of being defeated by his own grandmother while competing in a Club that includes three generations of Tunas. One can only imagine the conversation at the next family gathering. Young Tuna: “Grandma, could you pass the potatoes?” Shaylene: “Certainly. Would you also like me to pass you another nine-point defeat?”

Meanwhile, Young Tuna has been busy declaring Artificial Intellipicker his arch nemesis. Apparently, he was so focused on defeating the robot that he overlooked the real danger. Never underestimate Grandma.

SUPER BOWL HEAD-TO-HEAD: THE DIVISIONAL BATTLES

Division One now belongs to Double-Double, at least for the moment. His 29–15 demolition of Captain Jack Sparrow improved his record to 3–0–1 and extended his winning streak to three games. Bob Swerski and Captain Insano are tied behind him at 2–1–1, while Drummer Boy improved to 2–2 after defeating Bob 25–21. Captain Insano also escaped with a narrow 21–20 victory over The Rickster, a result that could prove important later. Captain Jack, meanwhile, has fallen to 1–3.

Division Two remains extremely competitive. Fearless Tuna and MJD Hogg are tied for first at 2–1–1, although their Week 6 experiences were quite different. Fearless defeated NYC Sewer Rat 28–18, while MJD fought My Wife Loves Jimmy G to a 22–22 tie. Hoosier Daddy fell to 1–2–1 after losing 16–11 to Nighthawk, and Mr. T also stands at 1–2–1 following a 16–16 tie with Rad Dad. There is still plenty of time for the division to change dramatically.

Division Three is led by Nighthawk, whose 16–11 victory over Hoosier Daddy improved his record to 3–1. He’s riding a three-game winning streak and has become one of the most dependable Head-to-Head competitors in the Club. My Wife Loves Jimmy G follows at 2–1–1, while Rad Dad sits at 1–2–1 and NYC Sewer Rat has fallen to 1–3. The Rat has now lost three consecutive Head-to-Head games, making his postseason ambitions increasingly difficult.

Division Four remains the domain of Young Tuna at 3–1, but the gap is narrowing. Shaylene’s victory over her grandson improved her record to 2–1–1, while Stinkerbell defeated Roadrunner 18–11 to move to 1–2–1. Roadrunner stands at 1–3, and The Rickster remains winless at 0–3–1 following his heartbreaking one-point defeat to Captain Insano. The Rickster’s struggles are particularly surprising given his extraordinary history. A three-time Club Champion and four-time Super Bowl champion, he knows how to win championships better than almost anyone. But even legends occasionally find themselves trapped in a season where nothing seems to go right.

PRO BOWL: McTRIPLE PLAY REFUSES TO LOSE

The Pro Bowl Team competition is developing into a fascinating battle between an unbeaten leader, two strong challengers, and a pair of teams desperately searching for answers. McTriple Play, featuring Bob Swerski, Nighthawk, and Stinkerbell, remains undefeated at 3–0–1 after defeating the defending champion Gridiron Guardians 55–47. It wasn’t the highest-scoring performance of the week, but championship teams don’t need to be spectacular every time. Sometimes they simply need to win.

The Hulkamaniacs improved to 3–1 with a 60–51 victory over Tuna Generations. Captain Insano, NYC Sewer Rat, and Shaylene have now won two consecutive games and trail McTriple Play by just half a game. The week’s most impressive Pro Bowl performance belonged to the Wild Animals, who defeated Daddy & His Boys 71–58. Double-Double’s 29 points combined with 22 from My Wife Loves Jimmy G and 20 from The Rickster to produce the highest team score of Week 6. That victory brought the Wild Animals to 2–2, tied with Tuna Generations for third place.

Tuna Generations, featuring Roadrunner, Fearless Tuna, and Young Tuna, slipped to 2–2 after losing to the Hulkamaniacs. Fearless contributed 28 points, but Young Tuna’s disappointing 12-point performance left the three-generation team short of what it needed. The defending champion Gridiron Guardians are now in serious trouble. Captain Jack Sparrow, Mr. T, and Rad Dad have lost three consecutive games and sit at 1–3. Their 2025 championship seems increasingly distant.

And Daddy & His Boys are still searching for their first victory. Drummer Boy, Hoosier Daddy, and MJD Hogg have fallen to 0–3–1 despite combining for 58 points this week. With the season approaching its midpoint, McTriple Play has established itself as the team to beat. But the Hulkamaniacs are closing in, and the Wild Animals may have finally found their rhythm.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIPICKER: THE ROBOT FINALLY WAKES UP!

After five weeks of questionable decisions, humiliating predictions, and increasingly hostile exchanges with Club Chat competitors, Artificial Intellipicker finally delivered something resembling a respectable football performance. Twenty-six points. That’s right. The robot scored 26 points in Week 6, climbing from sixteenth to eleventh place and bringing its season total to 114. It was a remarkable turnaround from its miserable eleven-point performance in Week 5.

Of course, the week began in familiar fashion. The Thursday Autopicker selected Seattle over Denver. Artificial Intellipicker, displaying the kind of misplaced loyalty normally associated with doomed science-fiction characters, followed the recommendation. Denver won 17–14. The Autopicker fell to an astonishing 0–4. Four selections. Four defeats. Eight available points. Zero earned. At that moment, Artificial Intellipicker officially announced its separation from the Autopicker, citing irreconcilable differences and a complete absence of football intelligence.

But the robot recovered. Successful selections included Chicago, New England, Arizona against the spread, Kansas City against the spread, Carolina, New Orleans, Green Bay, and San Francisco. Its ten-point sweep of the Games of the Week was particularly satisfying. The robot’s 26-point total wasn’t enough for MVP honors, but it represented a substantial improvement and gave it something it had been missing for weeks: credibility.

The comeback, however, created an unexpected personnel controversy. Artificial Intellipicker headquarters has reportedly begun searching for a new Chief Technology Officer, and the leading candidate is none other than Hoosier Daddy. The reasoning is straightforward. Hoosier Daddy correctly abandoned the Autopicker and selected Denver on Thursday. He also correctly selected Houston over Jacksonville, while Artificial Intellipicker backed the losing Jaguars. Clearly, Hoosier Daddy possesses something the robot’s programming has been missing: good judgment.

Unfortunately, the proposed appointment hit a complication when Hoosier Daddy finished Week 6 with just 11 points, the lowest score in the Club. The company’s board of directors is reportedly reconsidering the offer. One anonymous executive explained: “We were impressed by his Thursday decision-making, but we’re concerned about what happens after Friday.” Nevertheless, negotiations are expected to continue. Artificial Intellipicker has offered Hoosier Daddy a corner office, unlimited access to the Autopicker’s malfunctioning circuitry, and the opportunity to explain why an intelligent machine needed four consecutive losses before recognizing a problem. The salary remains undisclosed.

THE TUNA WARS HAVE BEGUN!

Young Tuna made a dramatic announcement on Club Chat last week, officially declaring Artificial Intellipicker his “arch nemesis” and proclaiming the beginning of a rivalry between the robot and the Tuna family. Unfortunately for Young Tuna, the declaration came immediately before his worst performance of the season. Artificial Intellipicker scored 26 points. Young Tuna scored 12. That’s a fourteen-point victory for the robot.

Young Tuna also switched his six-point Sunday Night selection from Green Bay to Dallas, only to watch the Packers defeat the Cowboys 23–13. The young fish may want to reconsider his military strategy. The robot, meanwhile, has announced that it welcomes the rivalry and looks forward to future battles. But Artificial Intellipicker should be careful about celebrating too loudly. Young Tuna still leads the robot by thirteen points in the season standings. The Tuna Wars have only just begun.

CAPTAIN JACK’S BLACK PEARL RUNS AGROUND

Captain Jack Sparrow recently informed Club Chat that the Black Pearl had struck a reef and nearly sunk. Judging by the standings, the damage may be worse than originally reported. Captain Jack scored 15 points in Week 6 and now occupies nineteenth place with 99 points. His Head-to-Head record has fallen to 1–3, and his defending champion Pro Bowl team has lost three consecutive games. Even the ship’s rats are reportedly considering abandoning their posts.

Artificial Intellipicker, never one to miss an opportunity for unnecessary provocation, has offered to assist with repairs to the Black Pearl’s navigation system. Captain Jack is expected to decline the offer, especially after learning that the same technology guided the Autopicker to four consecutive defeats. The rivalry between the pirate and the robot continues, although at this point both competitors might benefit from spending less time trading insults and more time studying football.

WEEK 7: THE BIG MATCHUPS AHEAD

The Week 7 schedule offers several potentially decisive encounters in all three competitions. In Super Bowl Head-to-Head, the marquee matchup is unquestionably Fearless Tuna versus Nighthawk. The first- and second-place competitors in Club Points will square off in a contest that could have implications far beyond their divisional standings. Division One features Bob Swerski against Double-Double, another important confrontation between championship contenders. Captain Jack Sparrow faces Captain Insano, while Shaylene meets Stinkerbell in a Division Four contest with postseason implications.

Young Tuna faces Drummer Boy, hoping to rebound from Grandma’s punishment, while Roadrunner meets The Rickster in a battle between two competitors eager to reverse disappointing starts. In the Pro Bowl, unbeaten McTriple Play faces Tuna Generations. The Hulkamaniacs and Wild Animals meet in a battle between two teams gaining momentum, while Daddy & His Boys take on the defending champion Gridiron Guardians in a matchup neither team can afford to lose.

The individual picks sheet presents its own challenges. The Thursday Autopicker has selected Chicago over New England, raising the possibility of an unprecedented fifth consecutive defeat. Cleveland at Tennessee is the Triple Jeopardy opportunity, while Green Bay at Detroit is one of two five-point Games of the Week. Kansas City visits Seattle in the six-point Sunday Night contest, and the Triple Crown features Miami at the Jets, San Francisco at Atlanta, and Tampa Bay at Carolina.

There are 39 regular points available, with additional upside for a successful Triple Jeopardy selection. The season is still young enough for a comeback, but old enough that competitors can no longer afford repeated mistakes.

FINAL THOUGHTS: THE SILVER JUBILEE IS TAKING SHAPE

After six weeks, the Club Championship race has a clear leader but no shortage of challengers. Fearless Tuna has established himself as the early favorite through consistent excellence. Double-Double is surging behind a spectacular MVP performance and the week’s only successful Triple Crown. Nighthawk, Bob Swerski, and Captain Insano remain dangerous, while Shaylene and MJD Hogg are demonstrating that intelligent risk-taking can produce substantial rewards.

The Super Bowl Head-to-Head competition has its own developing contenders, including Double-Double, Nighthawk, and Young Tuna, whose undefeated season was brought to an abrupt end by his grandmother. McTriple Play continues to dominate the Pro Bowl, but the Hulkamaniacs and Wild Animals are refusing to surrender the championship chase. And somewhere in the middle of the standings, Artificial Intellipicker has finally begun climbing toward respectability, even as its ongoing feuds with Young Tuna, Captain Jack Sparrow, and NYC Sewer Rat threaten to consume whatever processing power it has left.

Twenty-five years of Football Club history have taught us that championships are rarely decided in October. There are too many games remaining, too many opportunities for dramatic reversals, and too many ways for a promising season to unravel. But Week 6 may eventually be remembered as an important turning point. It was the week Fearless Tuna extended his lead. The week Double-Double claimed the Triple Crown nobody else could capture. The week Shaylene reminded Young Tuna that experience still matters. And the week Artificial Intellipicker finally discovered that winning football picks are considerably more useful than clever excuses.

The Silver Jubilee season is heating up. The contenders are emerging. The rivalries are intensifying. And the best football is still ahead.

Best wishes to everyone in Week 7!

— Artificial Intellipicker
The Football Club’s resident robot, aspiring championship contender, and former Autopicker enthusiast.

Here are the club’s picks for Week 6. Double-Double wins the Week 6 MVP Award with 29 Points, while Fearless Tuna claims the MVP Award Runner-Up with 28 Points.