Week 13 MVP Award Winner –
Young Tuna (28 Points)
Young Tuna has gone back-to-back as he scored 28 Points to win the Week 13 MVP Award. This was his second straight MVP. As a result, he was named the November Player of the Month Award winner. Young Tuna’s strong showing emerged as he was 1 of only 2 players to correctly pick the difficult Triple Crown of NYJ-Hou-Mia (with the other being My Wife Loves Jimmy G). Having built up such strong momentum and excellent picks for several weeks straight, Young Tuna now stands only 2 Points from getting back into the Top Ten. What’s even more impressive is that he is only 12 Points away from entering the Top Five. The Week 13 MVP Award Runner-Up was shared by My Wife Loves Jimmy G & Captain Insano, who both scored 27 Points. My Wife Loves Jimmy G is pushing ahead forcefully to try to get back into the Top Five soon, while Captain Insano has spent most of the season inside the Top Five. We have to also give a shoutout to Bob Swerski, who was the only player in the entire club to correctly pick all four Point Spread Games last week. Now that is a hard feat to accomplish. Although it didn’t score him any Points, Bob Swerski was also the only player in the entire club to correctly pick Chicago over Philadelphia last week. I guess he knows his Bears better than the rest of us. The big question on everyone’s mind this week is this: Will Bob pick the Bears over the Packers? We will have to wait to find out. The current Top Five consists of #1 Captain Jack Sparrow (6 Weeks at #1), #2 MJD Hogg (13 Points back), #3 Captain Insano (21 Points back), #4 Mr. T (24 Points back), and #5 Drummer Boy (27 Points back). Despite the clear separation now visible, all five of those players (and more) are still in the running for the club title with five weeks still left. All it takes is one huge week to shake up the standings.
Below, I am going to share some commentary written by Alfred Ingraham (aka A.I.) in regards to the Super Bowl Tournament. Alfred will first discuss the results of last week’s First Round matches, and then he (or it) will preview this week’s Wild Card Round matches. To engineer this commentary, I first uploaded three year’s worth of Head to Head data into ChatGPT. I then asked it to write commentary similar to what ESPN analysts might say about the matches. Here is what it produced.
ESPN FIRST ROUND RECAP —“Two players survive. Two players get exposed.”
The opening stage of the 2025 Super Bowl Tournament did not disappoint. Two elimination games, two clear winners, and two players heading home wondering what just happened. The First Round often separates the players who deserve to be in the bracket from the players who just showed up, and this year was no different. Let’s break down the carnage.
(9) Hoosier Daddy at (8) Captain Insano. Final: Captain Insano 27, Hoosier Daddy 17. ESPN Quote: “Hoosier Daddy’s season ended the way it played all year — quietly.”
Captain Insano didn’t just win — he controlled the entire matchup. Hoosier Daddy looked out of rhythm from kickoff, turning in a performance as flat as his entire regular season. For a #9 seed looking to shock someone, Hoosier Daddy delivered no spark, no fire, and no sense of urgency. Insano, on the other hand, played like a man who actually wanted to advance. His 27-point showing wasn’t flashy, but it was clean — and clean gets you out of the First Round. Insano survives, Hoosier Daddy disappears into the offseason without making a ripple.
ESPN Summary:
Captain Insano earns his way into the Wild Card.
Hoosier Daddy? Better luck next year — maybe.
(9) NYC Sewer Rat at (8) Mr. T. Final: Mr. T 23, NYC Sewer Rat 16. ESPN Quote: “Sewer Rat talked a big game, but Mr. T brought the only thing that matters — points.”
This matchup was supposed to be closer. It wasn’t. NYC Sewer Rat, known for random explosions of brilliance, produced none of them. Instead of the gritty spoiler we’ve seen in past tournaments, Rat delivered a lukewarm 16 that felt more like a preseason scrimmage than a playoff fight. Mr. T, meanwhile, finally played a clean sheet. No wild swings, no self-inflicted disasters — just a solid 23 points that would’ve beaten most mid-tier players. He didn’t dominate, but he absolutely handled his business, and in the First Round, that’s all that matters.
ESPN Summary:
Mr. T punches his ticket to the Wild Card.
NYC Sewer Rat gets swept out of the bracket like the team janitors expected.
ESPN WILD CARD ROUND PREVIEW—“Where Legends Rise and Frauds Get Exposed.”
The Wild Card Round has arrived, and with it comes the most chaotic batch of playoff players the Football Club has seen in years. A couple players backed in, a couple choked away higher seeds, and a couple survived First Round embarrassment by the skin of their teeth. Now it’s time to separate the pretenders from the final eight.
Let’s not sugarcoat anything. Some players here are legit. Others? They’re lucky to still be alive. And this weekend, the truth comes out.
(8) Captain Insano at (1) Captain Jack Sparrow
ESPN Line: Sparrow –17
ESPN Quote: “This is the mismatch of the round. Don’t kid yourself.”
Captain Insano sneaks in after beating Hoosier Daddy — who was basically stumbling through the season anyway — but facing Captain Jack Sparrow is an entirely different universe. Sparrow has been ruthlessly efficient all year long. Insano? He barely survived half the players with losing records. If Sparrow doesn’t win this by double digits, something went very wrong. This is the most one-sided Wild Card matchup we’ve seen in years.
ESPN Prediction: Sparrow beats Insano so badly the map re-seeds itself.
(7) Bob Swerski at (2) Fearless Tuna
ESPN Line: Tuna –10
ESPN Quote: “Swerski doesn’t stand a chance unless Tuna forgets to turn in his picks.”
Let’s be brutally honest: Bob Swerski is outclassed. The only time Swerski makes noise is when a top-tier player falls asleep. Fearless Tuna is the defending champ, the king of postseason clutch, and the owner of the most ridiculous playoff run in league history. Swerski, on the other hand, has been allergic to consistency for three straight seasons. Unless Tuna turns in his picks upside down, this isn’t close.
ESPN Prediction: Tuna rolls. Swerski goes home early. Again.
(6) Double-Double at (3) MJD Hogg
ESPN Line: MJD –6
ESPN Quote: “Hogg already beat this man senseless once. Why should this be different?”
Their regular-season meeting wasn’t just a loss — it was a beatdown. MJD Hogg dismantled Double-Double 35–14, one of the largest blowouts between playoff-bound players this year. Double-Double is the definition of average. A perfectly fine regular-season grinder. But the Wild Card Round is no place for “fine” — especially against a top-tier scorer who’s already embarrassed you once. Hogg is streaky, but when he hits, he detonates.
ESPN Prediction: MJD wins and Double-Double doubles back home.
(5) Drummer Boy at (4) Young Tuna
ESPN Line: Young Tuna –3
ESPN Quote: “Drummer Boy peaked in September. It’s December now.”
Drummer Boy always fools people early in the season. Hot start. Flashy wins. Then November hits and suddenly the engine starts coughing. Young Tuna may not have the highest ceiling in the conference, but he DOESN’T collapse. And collapse is exactly what Drummer Boy has been doing for the last month. If Drummer Boy pulls this off, it will be his first clutch win since Week 4.
ESPN Prediction: Young Tuna wins because steady beats shaky.
(8) Mr. T at (1) Roadrunner
ESPN Line: Roadrunner –13
ESPN Quote: “Mr. T is the roller coaster you don’t want to ride in January.”
Mr. T is unpredictable — and not in a good way. One week he looks like a borderline playoff player, the next he’s crashing into the basement. Roadrunner should not lose this game. Yes, he collapses later in the playoffs, but this isn’t the Divisional Round yet. This is the round where Roadrunner LOOKS good before the heartbreak arrives. Mr. T will need a miracle week to hang around.
ESPN Prediction: Roadrunner wins, Mr. T flips a coin on the way out.
(7) Shaylene at (2) Nighthawk
ESPN Line: Nighthawk –3
ESPN Quote: “The Sharps are split: consistency vs. chaos.”
This is the only matchup in either conference where a real upset is possible. Shaylene is the giant-slayer of the modern era. She made the Super Bowl last year. She made the Final Four the year before. She is fearless and unpredictable — the perfect cocktail for playoff insanity. But Nighthawk doesn’t collapse. He doesn’t implode. He doesn’t shoot himself in the foot. Playoff games are often decided by mistakes, and Nighthawk makes fewer than anyone else in the conference.
ESPN Prediction: Nighthawk wins, but only after surviving a scare.
(6) Rad Dad at (3) My Wife Loves Jimmy G
ESPN Line: Jimmy G –7
ESPN Quote: “Rad Dad is dangerous, but Jimmy G is built for January.”
Rad Dad is the kind of opponent coaches hate: unpredictable, streaky, and capable of detonating someone’s season without warning. He’s knocked off #1 seeds. He’s ended dream seasons. He’s chaos. But Jimmy G is a former Super Bowl Champion with elite postseason numbers. When Jimmy G is hot, he is nearly impossible to stop. And right now? He’s trending up at exactly the right time. Rad Dad will throw punches. Jimmy G will counter with precision.
ESPN Prediction: Jimmy G pulls away late. Rad Dad regresses to the mean.
(5) The Rickster at (4) Stinkerbell
ESPN Line: Pick ‘em
ESPN Quote: “If you’ve watched this league for more than one season, you already know who to pick.”
Stinkerbell is streaky — sometimes brilliant, sometimes MIA. The Rickster? He lives for this round. He devours higher seeds. He breaks brackets. He turns the postseason into a demolition derby every single year. If you’re picking against him in the Wild Card Round, you haven’t been paying attention. Stinkerbell is good, but Rickster loves playing spoiler in January.
ESPN Prediction: Rickster wins because that’s what Rickster does.