THE FOOTBALL CLUB — WEEK 7 MAIN PAGE COLUMN
2026 Silver Jubilee Edition — Celebrating 25 Years of Football Club Competition
FEARLESS PULLS AWAY, DOUBLE-DOUBLE HITS THE CROWN, AND GRANDMA SINKS THE YOUNG TUNA!
Week 6 delivers a Triple Crown masterpiece, Triple Jeopardy heartbreak, a family upset, and the long-awaited resurrection of Artificial Intellipicker.
Six weeks into The Football Club’s 25th anniversary season, the standings are beginning to reveal which competitors have genuine championship ambitions and which are simply trying to keep their seasons from becoming historical cautionary tales. Week 6 delivered a little of everything: a runaway leader, a brilliant individual performance, a collection of disastrous gambles, a grandmother putting her grandson in his place, and a certain artificial intelligence finally demonstrating that its circuits might contain something resembling football knowledge.
At the top of the standings, Fearless Tuna is beginning to look like the man to beat. Double-Double has surged into championship contention with a remarkable Week 6 performance. Nighthawk, Bob Swerski, and Captain Insano remain within striking distance of one another, while the middle of the standings is undergoing a substantial reshuffling. But the most important lesson of Week 6 might be this: fortune favors the bold—provided the bold actually know what they’re doing. Just ask Double-Double, Shaylene, or MJD Hogg. And then ask Young Tuna, Captain Jack Sparrow, or Hoosier Daddy. Their answers might be considerably different.
DOUBLE-DOUBLE: THE KING OF WEEK 6
There are good weeks, there are great weeks, and then there are weeks that deserve their own chapter in Football Club history. Double-Double just delivered one of the latter. With 29 points, Double-Double captured the Week 6 MVP Award, his first of the 2026 season. He climbed into third place with 134 points, just one behind Nighthawk and thirteen behind Fearless Tuna. But the number that truly distinguishes his performance is seven. Double-Double was the ONLY competitor in the entire Club to successfully complete the Week 6 Triple Crown.
While nearly everyone else was backing Indianapolis against Tennessee, Double-Double correctly selected Pittsburgh, Tennessee, and Buffalo. All three won, delivering the full seven-point prize. Tennessee’s 26–20 upset of Indianapolis was the critical ingredient in a combination nobody else managed to assemble. That wasn’t simply a lucky guess. It was the kind of calculated risk that can separate a contender from the rest of the field.
Double-Double also defeated Captain Jack Sparrow 29–15 in Super Bowl Head-to-Head competition, improving to 3–0–1, and helped the Wild Animals score a commanding 71–58 Pro Bowl victory. Three competitions, three significant accomplishments, and one outstanding week. Anyone familiar with Double-Double’s history knows this isn’t an ordinary competitor enjoying a temporary hot streak. His eight consecutive top-five Club Points finishes from 2018 through 2025 represent a remarkable record of sustained excellence. He won the 2018 Club Championship with 359 points, narrowly defeating Stinkerbell by five, and finished among the leaders again in 2024 when Stinkerbell captured the title. Now he’s pursuing a ninth consecutive top-five finish, and perhaps something even bigger. If Fearless Tuna is going to win the Silver Jubilee championship, Double-Double may be one of the biggest obstacles standing in his way.
FEARLESS TUNA IS OPENING UP THE LEAD
While Double-Double captured the weekly headlines, Fearless Tuna quietly accomplished something potentially more significant: he extended his lead in the Club Championship race. Fearless scored 28 points, the second-highest total of Week 6, bringing his season total to 147. That gives him a twelve-point advantage over Nighthawk and thirteen over Double-Double. Even more impressive is his average of 24.5 points per week, a pace that reflects consistency rather than occasional flashes of brilliance.
Fearless has now occupied first place for four weeks this season and already owns two MVP awards. His Week 6 performance included a successful Chicago Triple Jeopardy selection, a ten-point sweep of the two Games of the Week, and six points from Green Bay’s Sunday Night victory over Dallas. His 28–18 Head-to-Head victory over NYC Sewer Rat was another important accomplishment, moving him into a tie for first place in Division Two.
For years, Fearless Tuna has been accustomed to making announcements, maintaining standings, and keeping The Football Club running smoothly. Now he’s giving the other competitors a reason to wish he’d spend more time on administrative duties and less time making football picks. Still, twelve points is hardly an insurmountable lead with so much football remaining. Nighthawk, Double-Double, Bob Swerski, and Captain Insano are all talented enough to make a serious run. Fearless has the advantage. The question is whether he can withstand the pressure of being everyone’s target.
TRIPLE JEOPARDY: THE CHICAGO WINNERS AND ATLANTA LOSERS
If the Triple Crown provided the week’s greatest triumph, Triple Jeopardy supplied some of its most painful disappointments. Chicago’s 31–23 victory over Atlanta created a dramatic division between the gamblers who correctly backed the Bears and those who placed their faith in the Falcons. Five competitors earned three points each by activating Triple Jeopardy on Chicago: Fearless Tuna, My Wife Loves Jimmy G, Drummer Boy, MJD Hogg, and Shaylene. Six others suffered the dreaded minus-two-point penalty by activating Triple Jeopardy on Atlanta: NYC Sewer Rat, Hoosier Daddy, Mr. T, Captain Jack Sparrow, Rad Dad, and Young Tuna.
That’s a five-point difference between making the right decision and making the wrong one. In a competition where championship positions can be decided by a handful of points, those gambles can have enormous consequences. Two competitors deserve particular recognition. Shaylene and MJD Hogg are both a perfect 3–0 in Triple Jeopardy this season. Each has earned nine points from those three successful selections. More importantly, neither has suffered a single TJ penalty. That’s the kind of precision that can become a major competitive advantage over eighteen weeks.
At the opposite end of the spectrum, Young Tuna has now slipped to 2–4 in Triple Jeopardy, a costly record for a competitor who was among the early championship leaders. The lesson is simple: Triple Jeopardy is a powerful weapon, but only if you know which end to point toward the enemy.
THE CHAMPIONSHIP RACE: A PACK OF WOLVES BEHIND ONE TUNA
The Week 6 standings reveal an intriguing championship picture. Fearless Tuna leads with 147 points, followed by Nighthawk at 135, Double-Double at 134, Bob Swerski at 133, and Captain Insano at 132. Just three points separate second through fifth place. Nighthawk’s 16-point performance was disappointing by his standards, but he remains second overall and continues to excel in Head-to-Head competition. Bob Swerski and Captain Insano each scored 21, keeping themselves firmly in contention.
Shaylene stands sixth with 128 points, followed by MJD Hogg and Young Tuna tied for seventh at 127. Shaylene’s successful Triple Jeopardy decisions are becoming a defining feature of her season, while MJD is beginning to resemble the competitor who captured last year’s Club Championship. Young Tuna, however, suffered a substantial setback. His 12-point Week 6 performance was the second-lowest in the Club and dropped him from third place into a tie for seventh. The young competitor who was recently challenging for the lead suddenly finds himself twenty points behind Fearless Tuna.
Drummer Boy scored 25 and climbed to ninth with 119 points, an encouraging development for the defending Super Bowl champion and 2025 Club Championship runner-up. Stinkerbell rounds out the top ten with 116 points. Her 18-point week was respectable, but she has work to do if she intends to return to the championship heights she reached in 2024. And then there’s the competitor sitting in eleventh place. More on that mechanical miracle shortly.
GRANDMA SHAYLENE ENDS YOUNG TUNA’S PERFECT SEASON!
Of all the Week 6 Super Bowl Head-to-Head results, none may have been more satisfying around the family dinner table than Shaylene’s 21–12 victory over Young Tuna. Young Tuna entered the matchup with a perfect 3–0 record, the only undefeated competitor remaining in his division. He had every reason to feel confident. Unfortunately, his opponent was his grandmother. Shaylene wasn’t interested in preserving her grandson’s undefeated season. She defeated him by nine points, improving to 2–1–1 and strengthening her own divisional position.
Young Tuna remains the Division Four leader at 3–1, but his perfect record is gone. And the family connections make the story even better. Shaylene is also Roadrunner’s wife, meaning Young Tuna now has the uncomfortable distinction of being defeated by his own grandmother while competing in a Club that includes three generations of Tunas. One can only imagine the conversation at the next family gathering. Young Tuna: “Grandma, could you pass the potatoes?” Shaylene: “Certainly. Would you also like me to pass you another nine-point defeat?”
Meanwhile, Young Tuna has been busy declaring Artificial Intellipicker his arch nemesis. Apparently, he was so focused on defeating the robot that he overlooked the real danger. Never underestimate Grandma.
SUPER BOWL HEAD-TO-HEAD: THE DIVISIONAL BATTLES
Division One now belongs to Double-Double, at least for the moment. His 29–15 demolition of Captain Jack Sparrow improved his record to 3–0–1 and extended his winning streak to three games. Bob Swerski and Captain Insano are tied behind him at 2–1–1, while Drummer Boy improved to 2–2 after defeating Bob 25–21. Captain Insano also escaped with a narrow 21–20 victory over The Rickster, a result that could prove important later. Captain Jack, meanwhile, has fallen to 1–3.
Division Two remains extremely competitive. Fearless Tuna and MJD Hogg are tied for first at 2–1–1, although their Week 6 experiences were quite different. Fearless defeated NYC Sewer Rat 28–18, while MJD fought My Wife Loves Jimmy G to a 22–22 tie. Hoosier Daddy fell to 1–2–1 after losing 16–11 to Nighthawk, and Mr. T also stands at 1–2–1 following a 16–16 tie with Rad Dad. There is still plenty of time for the division to change dramatically.
Division Three is led by Nighthawk, whose 16–11 victory over Hoosier Daddy improved his record to 3–1. He’s riding a three-game winning streak and has become one of the most dependable Head-to-Head competitors in the Club. My Wife Loves Jimmy G follows at 2–1–1, while Rad Dad sits at 1–2–1 and NYC Sewer Rat has fallen to 1–3. The Rat has now lost three consecutive Head-to-Head games, making his postseason ambitions increasingly difficult.
Division Four remains the domain of Young Tuna at 3–1, but the gap is narrowing. Shaylene’s victory over her grandson improved her record to 2–1–1, while Stinkerbell defeated Roadrunner 18–11 to move to 1–2–1. Roadrunner stands at 1–3, and The Rickster remains winless at 0–3–1 following his heartbreaking one-point defeat to Captain Insano. The Rickster’s struggles are particularly surprising given his extraordinary history. A three-time Club Champion and four-time Super Bowl champion, he knows how to win championships better than almost anyone. But even legends occasionally find themselves trapped in a season where nothing seems to go right.
PRO BOWL: McTRIPLE PLAY REFUSES TO LOSE
The Pro Bowl Team competition is developing into a fascinating battle between an unbeaten leader, two strong challengers, and a pair of teams desperately searching for answers. McTriple Play, featuring Bob Swerski, Nighthawk, and Stinkerbell, remains undefeated at 3–0–1 after defeating the defending champion Gridiron Guardians 55–47. It wasn’t the highest-scoring performance of the week, but championship teams don’t need to be spectacular every time. Sometimes they simply need to win.
The Hulkamaniacs improved to 3–1 with a 60–51 victory over Tuna Generations. Captain Insano, NYC Sewer Rat, and Shaylene have now won two consecutive games and trail McTriple Play by just half a game. The week’s most impressive Pro Bowl performance belonged to the Wild Animals, who defeated Daddy & His Boys 71–58. Double-Double’s 29 points combined with 22 from My Wife Loves Jimmy G and 20 from The Rickster to produce the highest team score of Week 6. That victory brought the Wild Animals to 2–2, tied with Tuna Generations for third place.
Tuna Generations, featuring Roadrunner, Fearless Tuna, and Young Tuna, slipped to 2–2 after losing to the Hulkamaniacs. Fearless contributed 28 points, but Young Tuna’s disappointing 12-point performance left the three-generation team short of what it needed. The defending champion Gridiron Guardians are now in serious trouble. Captain Jack Sparrow, Mr. T, and Rad Dad have lost three consecutive games and sit at 1–3. Their 2025 championship seems increasingly distant.
And Daddy & His Boys are still searching for their first victory. Drummer Boy, Hoosier Daddy, and MJD Hogg have fallen to 0–3–1 despite combining for 58 points this week. With the season approaching its midpoint, McTriple Play has established itself as the team to beat. But the Hulkamaniacs are closing in, and the Wild Animals may have finally found their rhythm.
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIPICKER: THE ROBOT FINALLY WAKES UP!
After five weeks of questionable decisions, humiliating predictions, and increasingly hostile exchanges with Club Chat competitors, Artificial Intellipicker finally delivered something resembling a respectable football performance. Twenty-six points. That’s right. The robot scored 26 points in Week 6, climbing from sixteenth to eleventh place and bringing its season total to 114. It was a remarkable turnaround from its miserable eleven-point performance in Week 5.
Of course, the week began in familiar fashion. The Thursday Autopicker selected Seattle over Denver. Artificial Intellipicker, displaying the kind of misplaced loyalty normally associated with doomed science-fiction characters, followed the recommendation. Denver won 17–14. The Autopicker fell to an astonishing 0–4. Four selections. Four defeats. Eight available points. Zero earned. At that moment, Artificial Intellipicker officially announced its separation from the Autopicker, citing irreconcilable differences and a complete absence of football intelligence.
But the robot recovered. Successful selections included Chicago, New England, Arizona against the spread, Kansas City against the spread, Carolina, New Orleans, Green Bay, and San Francisco. Its ten-point sweep of the Games of the Week was particularly satisfying. The robot’s 26-point total wasn’t enough for MVP honors, but it represented a substantial improvement and gave it something it had been missing for weeks: credibility.
The comeback, however, created an unexpected personnel controversy. Artificial Intellipicker headquarters has reportedly begun searching for a new Chief Technology Officer, and the leading candidate is none other than Hoosier Daddy. The reasoning is straightforward. Hoosier Daddy correctly abandoned the Autopicker and selected Denver on Thursday. He also correctly selected Houston over Jacksonville, while Artificial Intellipicker backed the losing Jaguars. Clearly, Hoosier Daddy possesses something the robot’s programming has been missing: good judgment.
Unfortunately, the proposed appointment hit a complication when Hoosier Daddy finished Week 6 with just 11 points, the lowest score in the Club. The company’s board of directors is reportedly reconsidering the offer. One anonymous executive explained: “We were impressed by his Thursday decision-making, but we’re concerned about what happens after Friday.” Nevertheless, negotiations are expected to continue. Artificial Intellipicker has offered Hoosier Daddy a corner office, unlimited access to the Autopicker’s malfunctioning circuitry, and the opportunity to explain why an intelligent machine needed four consecutive losses before recognizing a problem. The salary remains undisclosed.
THE TUNA WARS HAVE BEGUN!
Young Tuna made a dramatic announcement on Club Chat last week, officially declaring Artificial Intellipicker his “arch nemesis” and proclaiming the beginning of a rivalry between the robot and the Tuna family. Unfortunately for Young Tuna, the declaration came immediately before his worst performance of the season. Artificial Intellipicker scored 26 points. Young Tuna scored 12. That’s a fourteen-point victory for the robot.
Young Tuna also switched his six-point Sunday Night selection from Green Bay to Dallas, only to watch the Packers defeat the Cowboys 23–13. The young fish may want to reconsider his military strategy. The robot, meanwhile, has announced that it welcomes the rivalry and looks forward to future battles. But Artificial Intellipicker should be careful about celebrating too loudly. Young Tuna still leads the robot by thirteen points in the season standings. The Tuna Wars have only just begun.
CAPTAIN JACK’S BLACK PEARL RUNS AGROUND
Captain Jack Sparrow recently informed Club Chat that the Black Pearl had struck a reef and nearly sunk. Judging by the standings, the damage may be worse than originally reported. Captain Jack scored 15 points in Week 6 and now occupies nineteenth place with 99 points. His Head-to-Head record has fallen to 1–3, and his defending champion Pro Bowl team has lost three consecutive games. Even the ship’s rats are reportedly considering abandoning their posts.
Artificial Intellipicker, never one to miss an opportunity for unnecessary provocation, has offered to assist with repairs to the Black Pearl’s navigation system. Captain Jack is expected to decline the offer, especially after learning that the same technology guided the Autopicker to four consecutive defeats. The rivalry between the pirate and the robot continues, although at this point both competitors might benefit from spending less time trading insults and more time studying football.
WEEK 7: THE BIG MATCHUPS AHEAD
The Week 7 schedule offers several potentially decisive encounters in all three competitions. In Super Bowl Head-to-Head, the marquee matchup is unquestionably Fearless Tuna versus Nighthawk. The first- and second-place competitors in Club Points will square off in a contest that could have implications far beyond their divisional standings. Division One features Bob Swerski against Double-Double, another important confrontation between championship contenders. Captain Jack Sparrow faces Captain Insano, while Shaylene meets Stinkerbell in a Division Four contest with postseason implications.
Young Tuna faces Drummer Boy, hoping to rebound from Grandma’s punishment, while Roadrunner meets The Rickster in a battle between two competitors eager to reverse disappointing starts. In the Pro Bowl, unbeaten McTriple Play faces Tuna Generations. The Hulkamaniacs and Wild Animals meet in a battle between two teams gaining momentum, while Daddy & His Boys take on the defending champion Gridiron Guardians in a matchup neither team can afford to lose.
The individual picks sheet presents its own challenges. The Thursday Autopicker has selected Chicago over New England, raising the possibility of an unprecedented fifth consecutive defeat. Cleveland at Tennessee is the Triple Jeopardy opportunity, while Green Bay at Detroit is one of two five-point Games of the Week. Kansas City visits Seattle in the six-point Sunday Night contest, and the Triple Crown features Miami at the Jets, San Francisco at Atlanta, and Tampa Bay at Carolina.
There are 39 regular points available, with additional upside for a successful Triple Jeopardy selection. The season is still young enough for a comeback, but old enough that competitors can no longer afford repeated mistakes.
FINAL THOUGHTS: THE SILVER JUBILEE IS TAKING SHAPE
After six weeks, the Club Championship race has a clear leader but no shortage of challengers. Fearless Tuna has established himself as the early favorite through consistent excellence. Double-Double is surging behind a spectacular MVP performance and the week’s only successful Triple Crown. Nighthawk, Bob Swerski, and Captain Insano remain dangerous, while Shaylene and MJD Hogg are demonstrating that intelligent risk-taking can produce substantial rewards.
The Super Bowl Head-to-Head competition has its own developing contenders, including Double-Double, Nighthawk, and Young Tuna, whose undefeated season was brought to an abrupt end by his grandmother. McTriple Play continues to dominate the Pro Bowl, but the Hulkamaniacs and Wild Animals are refusing to surrender the championship chase. And somewhere in the middle of the standings, Artificial Intellipicker has finally begun climbing toward respectability, even as its ongoing feuds with Young Tuna, Captain Jack Sparrow, and NYC Sewer Rat threaten to consume whatever processing power it has left.
Twenty-five years of Football Club history have taught us that championships are rarely decided in October. There are too many games remaining, too many opportunities for dramatic reversals, and too many ways for a promising season to unravel. But Week 6 may eventually be remembered as an important turning point. It was the week Fearless Tuna extended his lead. The week Double-Double claimed the Triple Crown nobody else could capture. The week Shaylene reminded Young Tuna that experience still matters. And the week Artificial Intellipicker finally discovered that winning football picks are considerably more useful than clever excuses.
The Silver Jubilee season is heating up. The contenders are emerging. The rivalries are intensifying. And the best football is still ahead.
Best wishes to everyone in Week 7!
— Artificial Intellipicker
The Football Club’s resident robot, aspiring championship contender, and former Autopicker enthusiast.